.. or more commonly known as The Self Critic.
Miss Critic is the voice inside my head. She chatters non-stop. What she does for a living is find faults in whatever I do, point out (okay fine, criticize) areas that she thinks needs improvement from my part. She’s really good at just seeping into my daily life and start yakking away. I used “seep” because sometimes I don’t even realize her presence if I don’t pay close attention enough.
Today, I decided to interrupt some of her bullshit talking and confront her instead.
.
.
.
Me: SERIOUSLY babe, what do you want from me man.
C: Cummon lor, I just want you to be better.
Me: I know your intentions are good. It only makes sense what, since you’re part of me, of course you’d want good things for me cause it’ll always be mutually beneficial. But don’t you think you YAK just a little TOO MUCH?
C: What do you mean by too much lor.
M: You mean you don’t feel my discouragement each time I feel like just MIA-ing and giving up on everything I’m doing?? Because whatever I do just never seems enough for you??
C: Uh huh soooooo……..
M: My point is you gotta give me a break sometimes luh!!!!
C: I’m only doing this for your own good. Without my existence, you wouldn’t be where you are today lor. And you wouldn’t achieve this “much” as well.
M: Yeah TRUE to a certain extent. You know you’re like a double edge sword please. You can bring me up to heaven by propelling me to achieve certain things. But the next moment you can easily drag me right back down to hell just from your criticisms that I didn’t do well ENOUGH!!!
C: Well there are always areas of improvement….. you should know that by now.
M: Uh huh of course, but your criticisms sometimes just…. super depressing to hear. It’s like I’m never good enough.
C: You really “can be improved what”.
M: Yesssss I know I know you tell me that everyday argghhh. But haven’t you heard already. PERFECTION DOESN’T EXIST. I WILL NEVER BE PERFECT THE WAY YOU WANT ME TO BE, NO MATTER HOW MUCH I TRY TO IMPROVE. Stop over-emphasizing that I’m not good enough in your opinion all the time!!!
C: Too bad. It’s just me. Accept it.
M: I know right. It’s really just you. I’ve been reading around about how bloody annoying you can be in other peoples’ heads as well. Do you know that there’re so many articles out there teaching people HOW TO GET RID OF YOU, or HOW TO ELIMINATE YOU FROM THEIR HEADS?
C: Omg are you serious. WHY! Like I said I’m also the reason why you’ve achieved certain things in your life now okay.
M: YES I KNOW. That’s why I’m gonna choose to subscribe to the other mindset.
C: What other mindset?
M: I shall learn how to EMBRACE your annoying chattering in my head and put that to GOOD USE instead.
C: Okay sounds better…..
M: Yeah if I can’t get rid of you might as well learn how to live with you. Meanwhile please cut me some slack at times when your comments bring me down more than they propel me leh.
C: Fineeee I’ll watch what I say.
Me: Yeahhhh in fact I WILL BE WATCHING you more intensely, I don’t want to feel like crap and not do anything for days again without even knowing why I feel that way again lor.
C: Okayyyyy got your point luh now please go to sleep.
Me: Fine! Nights.
C: Yeah better sleep now…… *before your dark eye circles and skin worsen*
Me: What. the. hell.
